Throwing in the Towel? Don't Do It!!!
"The thing I thought would break me was the thing that made me the woman I am today."
I feel inspired to write to the woman who may be thinking of throwing in the towel. You are tired, weary, worn and you just don't care anymore. You are feeling "what's the use?" No one has seen you in years because you are not where you hoped you would be at this juncture in your life. It wasn't so long ago (12 years) that I graduated from that place that you may be facing right now and I have good news for you! Read on.
Sometimes it can be a real challenge when life doesn't turn out as we hope. We make choices, we take risks, we hope for the best, but sometimes we end up with a mess. And if we are not aware and awake and fully conscious of our lives, we get stuck. Paralyzed. Frozen. One year becomes two years becomes five years becomes ten years and then we can make ourselves comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. In our right minds, we would never accept such a plight for ourselves, but somewhow life has drained all of the blood out of our veins and it is just too hard to fight anymore. So we exist. We eek out a living. We go down to the minimum and after a while, we have no shame about where we are. It takes too much energy to have shame about it. All the energy that we have left is needed just to live and make it through another day. While we are going through this "unnatural" state of our lives, there is a quiet whisper saying "come back." "Get back up again." But the inner voice is so very faint that you immediately dismiss it. To even entertain that thought would be the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. In that diminished mindset, it's hard to even get out of bed, not even considering climbing a mountain to pull ourselves out of the rut.
I know there is a very small dot of energy inside you eager and longing for the signal that you are willing to take just one step back to who you really are at the core of your being. You may think that one little dot of energy is not enough, but I assure you that it is. That one spec of energy is the same as the grain of mustard seed mentioned in the Bible. Faith the size of a mustard seed can command a mountain to be moved! In truth, when you are weak, you are stronger than ever because you must rely on the strength of someone greater than you to bring you through. The exhaustion and frustration sets in when we are moving in our own strength.
I share these things with you from my own personal experience. This is not something I read about. It is something that I endured. My circumstances that led me to this place may have been different than yours, but I ended up in a similar emotional and mental state. I hid from my family and put on the mask of happiness whenever someone was around. At my core, at the deep place within my heart, I was hurt, unhappy, ashamed, weak, depressed and I felt like a failure. I could not seem to connect the dots of life no matter how hard I tried. I didn't know it then, but all I was doing was the same thing over and over again. I thought I was doing something different but I wasn't. I was getting no where. Things would go well for a little while and then wham! I'd find myself right back in the same situation again. The names were changed, but the situations were exactly the same. I was so hungry for love and attention and I was broken on the inside. I kept attracting the wrong people in my life. I wanted to believe them so badly. I didn't listen to the still small voice which warned me many times that this person was not for me. I doubted my inner voice and believed in other people instead. It took years to learn how to heed the still small voice on the inside. That was God whispering to my heart giving me guidance and encouraging me to trust my own instincts. Again and again I tried until I got it right. There are unlimited amounts of times you can try because as long as you live you try. And when you are trying, you are moving. What is life trying to teach you as you repeat the same things and get back to where you started from over and over again? Life is asking you to get the lesson. My failures have been my best teachers. They showed me the way NOT to go. They showed me what DOES NOT work. After a while the "right way" unfolds right before your very eyes.
Your thoughts are the culprit. What have you been thinking? If you dare to write it down I'll bet you could come up with at least 50 negative thoughts. Try it and see. Your thoughts are responsible for wherever you are in life right now. Stop listening to those negative thoughts about yourself and your situation. Tell yourself the truth about yourself. Dare to believe that you ARE the person you were before what ever happened to you happened to you. Believe that what's inside of you is greater than whatever circumstance you face. Start entertaining thoughts that your life could change overnight! Because it can!
"You can't throw in the towel now, because if you do, you will throw away everything that life holds for you on the other side of where you are now."
In my case, my wake up call was when the person that I cared for deeply married someone else. In 8 years he would not make a commitment to get married. In the end it all made sense. He was marrying someone else. At first I pretended that I didn't see it coming and what an awful thing it was to happen to me. But inwardly I did see it coming. The still small voice tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. I didn't want to believe that and I didn't want to face it. Mainly I didn't want to start all over again. But I can thank God for guiding me in a different direction because when I was able to finally dust myself off again, the thing that I thought would break me was the thing that caused me to become the woman I am today. It was a lesson I needed to be able to empower myself so I could empower other women.
It felt like a long road back, but it really wasn't. I had given up all my dreams and signed up for his. Not caring for myself and taking care of my affairs caused me to lose everything. The blame did not belong to him. The responsibility was mine. I allowed those things to happen in my life. I was 38 years old before I truly accepted responsibility for my own actions and my own life. Inwardly I had thrown in the towel. At first I felt I had given it all that I had and that I had no more to give... it just wasn't worth it. I was planning to just go quietly into the night. I was just going to give up at that point and do what everyone else did and not try to make my mark on the world. But the inner voice kept nudging me on again. It would not let me throw in the towel. I found the little dot of energy and said a simple prayer to God: "Dear God, No knight on a white horse is coming for me. I must take care of myself. If I have to take care of myself, please let me do it in fine fashion."
God heard that prayer because the flame within me started burning again and roused me to try it one more time. I looked at my life and recommitted to try it again. I dared to get back up again. I decided to use my disappointments, hurt, and shame as fuel to help me recreate my life again. Before I knew it, things were happening for me. I realized when I went through that rough period, I had simply "stopped." I had gotten off on the wrong road in life. All I had to do was get back on the right side of life. I made myself free and the gates of opportunity opened wide for me. They had been there all along, but I was unable to see them. I learned how to finally harness my inner power and strength and use it for the good of myself and for helping others.
You have to take responsibility for yourself and your life. No one else can. You are the gatekeeper of your life. No matter how hard it has been or what you have gone through, the first step back is to take full responsibility for everything. Be grateful for the experience and all of the wisdom it taught you. I would never have thought that the wisdom I gained all those years ago would serve me not only in my life, but in helping to liberate the lives of other women. You may not want to take responsibility at first because it is easier to put the blame on someone else. But your true liberation can only come from owning ALL of your life...the good and the bad. By owning it, you are powerful to change it and you can change it the minute you decide to do something...one thing differently than you have been. You have forgotten about the incredible power that you hold. You have the inner power and the wisdom now to get your life totally back on track to where you want to be.
All you need is a pad and ink pen and it can open the gateway for the vision of your life to unfold. Start simply by listing the action steps that you have to take to get back on track to the place you were when life was good and you were riding high. This is your road map to find your way back to your true and authentic self. You can do it right now. It only requires a heartfelt decision and for you to take immediate action. Just whisper a prayer to God asking for help. "Help Me" might be all you can manage to say right now. That is enough and He will rush right in and do just that. You are not the person that you feel like right now. You are the person that is hidden inside that person and you are yearning to come forth and be the woman you were born to be right now!
Stop being a victim. You are a VICTOR and every thought, every decision, every habit, and ever action has to be processed from a true and positive standpoint. You are an overcomer. You have triumphed. You have won. You are in first place. God is amazing and I love his way of doing things...He says to find your life you have to lose it; to be first you have to be last; to be a leader you must be a servant; to become wise you have to have been foolish first. Everything will quickly come back into the right order now, the way that it is supposed to be. You may feel like you've lost 10 years, but you have gained what was missing...the life lessons, the endurance you needed, the character, patience and inner strength, the mental toughness and mental stamina. You can only get these things from the fiery furnace of life. And you can come through with no trace of smoke!
In my heart I know that God had me put this letter here just for you. If you are reading it, then you can know that God heard your prayer and has answered you by way of this writing. God put you on my list. I reach out to you because I have endured and overcome my deep inner wounds and I am telling you that the path back to yourself will be an easy one, not a hard one.
You are beautiful, and talented. Think about all you have learned. You are about to graduate from adversity university. All the wrong paths, poor choices, errors in judgment, the hurt and the pain have been your teachers. If you have gotten the lesson, then you have passed the test and you're ready. When you can finally understand WHY you faced those situations, you don't ever have to repeat that test again. You have the answers. They are all within your heart and you only need to ask for divine guidance to receive them.
You are an overcomer and you are just coming to realize that! Many people would not have been able to survive what you have and still be here. You were born with a God given purpose and now you are able to fulfill that purpose. You are now fully equipped.
I don't know what your dream was, but it does not have to die. It can come alive now. That's why you can't throw in the towel. You can't because if you do you would be throwing away all that life holds for you on the other side of where you are now. Your destiny is waiting for you on the other side. Once you put it all together and get a gameplan, you will have a powerful testimony. Your life could totally be transformed overnight if you are willing to bring your "A" game. Get rid of your "D" game; work your "A" game and see what happens. Find and read "The Purpose Driven Life". If you've already read it, read it again. Go to the library if you need to. Check out a few more positive and inspirational books. Find a local church and sit on the back row if you need to. Just get there and I promise you will hear another "step" you need to take. There is nothing like God's Word to encourage your soul.
Until today, you didn't realize that you were ready for what you were born to do. Now you know that it was all a part of the plan and now you are really ready. God has your back and he will give you back your life in a big and powerful way and your story and your courage will impact thousands...all because you DIDN'T throw in the towel.
I love you. I believe in you and I am rooting for you!
Sharmaine
PS If you were about to throw in the towel and need to reach out or if you are getting back in the swing of things, either way... share your story with me at Sharmaine@comcast.net
